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Almost every day a story like this one is printed in some Newspaper or other, taking a whack at Astrology. This is an opinion piece and it’s very funny. Apparently in New Zealand people take their Horoscope literally.

But what is most amazing is that this guy claims there are no differences between all the statistical kinds of people he lists in the article. This is literally impossible. There may be no difference to someone who has no idea how to read an Astrology chart. But to someone who DOES know how, the fact is obvious: just like fingerprints, it’s impossible to have 2 charts that are the same - unless they are for people born at the exact same moment in time, at the exact same location. I am stating the obvious here, but this is literally physically impossible.

This is like someone who has no knowledge of medicine claiming that a cardiologist is no different than an orthodontist simply because they are both men!

This is a kind of logic that is taught in debate classes where students are taught not to argue a case on it’s actual merits, but to argue something completely unrelated. This strategy is used because the case CAN’T BE WON ON IT’S MERITS. It is the exact strategy that slimy lawyers use in rape cases when they argue that the bruised and bleeding girl couldn’t have been raped because of what she was wearing.

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It’s true that men will always be men and women will always be women.   My dear friend e-mailed me this hilarious message, and I wish I knew who wrote it so that I could credit them for it.  But it gave me a laugh, and I hope it does for you too.
Nine words women use…

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

 2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

 4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

 5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

 8.) Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying F*** YOU!

9.) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it’s true.

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I rarely get to say how absolutely great the Astrology is for any given month - but for the month of April I do!

General forcast for April: This is a month of AMAZING opportunity and blessings, and many people will see cherished dreams come true at this time - after a brief glitch in the beginning of the month. This Month New and Full Moon Cycles speak to endings of partnerships or relationships that have passed their prime. Some may even find themselves finishing relationships or conflict karma with someone who was once a friend but became an open enemy. But remember every ending ushers in a new beginning, and this month it is one of independence, life force, freedom and warrior/warrior princess strength and passion. WooHooo!Feel the life force running through those veins and do something to challenge you and remind you why life is worth living.

April begins with a thorny (but fortunately short-lived) T-square between Venus and the Saturn - Neptune Opposition. This is hard on finances and makes problems acute. But then it’s over, and April brings us a HUGE amount of new blessings. Right around the 1st Mercury finally makes good on the promises he was making 6 weeks ago (and you thought the little trickster was just lying). But it may be a case of too little too late and you might not even be interested any more.

But, by mid to late April we all have big opportunities to work out any lingering problems and make some REAL and significant headway on our dreams. Powerful alignments support progress, growth and new, well-organized systems for getting things done. At least one super talented individual will emerge at this time. Not only that, but particularly long-term and effective solutions or plans can be brought into reality at this time. There is an extraordinary amount of power available this month. This is absolutely the best month I have seen in years - so make the most of it!!

*Please note, I am not saying that nothing bad can happen in the word right now, I am talking about the opportunity to use the Stars for Electional Astrology (making things happen) that is so good at the moment.

Aries - It’s all about getting a fresh start this month, especially after the 17th. Even if this new beginning means you had to give something up that you were attached to, you will soon feel a sense of freedom and excitement from this fresh spring energy that is flowing through your veins. It all boils down to love and family and what that means to you. Now is the time to align your actions with your desires so that you can have what you want AND what you need.

Taurus - While Venus is at home with you this month; whatever you most desire is irresistibly drawn directly to you. Some call it “The Secret,” I call it the Venus principle and you have always known about it. But now, mighty Venus herself smiles upon you and gives you the power to work your wiles in ways that are irresistible - bringing you a deeply cherished goal, dream or desire.

Gemini - Your Mercury hero is successfully swatting at flies this month. And while his success and vigilance is admirable, perhaps rethinking your strategy would be more useful. While so much opportunity is available to you - not to mention the ability to sway and influence people - perhaps Mercury could be put to better use. Resolve this month to focus on goals and not on problems - be they real or imagined.

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Tags: Astrology, horoscope, monthly horoscope

The Question: CAN YOU HELP ME I WAS BORN MARCH 8 1976 858 AM.IM BEYOND DEPRESSED I DONT KNOW WHAT IS MY TALENT BUT I HAVE SO MANY WISHES. GOT OUT OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP I KNOW HE DOESNT LOVE ME BUT HES STILL IN MY DREAMS LAST TIME HE CALLED ME ,I TOLD HIM HE HAD NOTHING TO ASK ME OR TALK TO ME ABOUT AND I HUNG UP. HE WAS BORN MAY 6 1980. BUT NOW MY FIRST LOVE CONTACTED ME I WAS 13 HE WAS 19 LAST I SAW HIM WAS WHEN I WAS 15. HE WAS BORN NOV 8 1969 PLEASE HELP

The Answer: You are a Pisces. Guy #1 that you talk about is a Taurus and based on your birth-dates your Sun’s are exactly sextile each other. The sextile creates a lot of sexual chemistry, but by themselves, not enough substance for a really lasting relationship. Looking at his chart, he appears to be very sexual, and charismatic but with a hard streak in his personality - which is not easy for a Pisces. So it created a mild sense of rapport between you, but beyond that you lacked deeper values and substance to glue you together on a deep level. The hard, but empowering choice here is for you to let go of it completely - no matter how hard it is. You say yourself that he doesn’t love you - so let it go, there are lot’s of fish in the sea.

Guy #2 is far more generally compatible, as a Scorpio with his Sun trine your Sun. This is one of the best Sun-Sun combinations possible, so you made a good choice in that way. And from his chart, he certainly appears to be a much sweeter, family oriented guy. But at 13-15 years old, you were WAY too young to make any permanent decisions. This one was a good learning experience and he should have taught you that you never need to accept less - ever.

When I look at your chart, it appears to me that your problems don’t stem from either guy #1 or guy #2, but from your own inner conflicts. The squares in your chart indicate a tendency to self-sabotage and shoot yourself in the foot just when you get close to a dream or goal. This also has some roots in your early childhood or parental patterning. Ultimately, your choice to keep emotionally connected to Guy #1 certainly looks like self sabotage to me. This is a life pattern for you - and it will not change unless you do some inner work to resolve your inner conflict. There is some internal reason why you create drama in your love life and this drama keeps you from living your real destiny. The fastest way that I have seen to resolve these types of inner conflicts is the healing and hypnotherapy work that I do with my clients. If you are interested in setting up a session like this then call (310) 455-2210 or email aura*astrologychick.com (replace * with @).

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Tags: Astrology, soul mate, sun sign

The Question: Regarding this solar eclipse in Pisces. I have a Chiron at 28 degree in Pisces in my 5th house. I’d like to know what is the significance of this eclipse and the new moon at the same time. How will it effect my life?

The Answer: First of all, the Solar Eclipse can only take place on a New Moon, so all Solar Eclipse’s are also New Moons. The New Moon signals New Beginnings. Solar Eclipse effects are felt up to 3 months before to 3 months after the actual Eclipse. So, even though the eclipse just happened a few days ago (March 18) - you have likely been feeling it for months, and will continue to do so, probably through June.

>A few guidelines for interpreting any Solar Eclipse on Natal planet in order of importance:

#1 What aspects other planets make to the Natal Planet (in your case - Chiron in your Natal Chart). This is MORE IMPORTANT, than signs, houses or anything else Astrologers talk about. Aspects are the #1 most important thing. If your planet (Chiron for you) has good aspects, the Solar Eclipse will bring in good things. If your planet (Chiron) has bad aspects, the Solar Eclipse will create stress and struggle.

#2 Look at the dominant themes of the Solar Eclipse in Question. You can refer to my article on this Pisces Solar Eclipse where I describe the revolutionary and disruptive Pluto overtones of this particular Eclipse. This means that the Eclipse will create disruption and upheaval in your life. It could be internal upheaval, or it could be external, but either way there is a personal revolution going on. If YOUR own Planet (Chiron) has good aspects then you will ultimately benefit from this change - the disruption will lead to deeper fulfillment and satisfaction in a relatively painless way. If YOUR own planet (Chiron) has hard aspects (aspects to Saturn, or Squares to any planet) then it will be a difficult period of time for you and your family.

#3 Check the meanings of sign and house placement to get a sense of what type of clothing your Solar Eclipse experiences will be dressed up in. In other words, sign and house placement will only color the experience - not decide if it is hard or easy.

The Pisces Solar Eclipse connecting to Chiron in the 5th house = family concerns, connection to your own creativity and artistic process, children, parents, concern for your role or place within your own family and the “family of man”. Seeking a sense of purpose and meaning, needing a connection to spirit and soul. Overall, this is a spiritual revolution for you, one which asks you to find your sense of place and meaning within family and the broader ’soul family’ of your community and world. A deepening of life purpose and mission. Finding yourself. This Solar Eclipse will bring deep spiritual renewal and transformation.

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Tags: Astrology, chiron, solar eclipse

I apologize for this, but there has been a problem getting the Conference call service to work over the past weeks. This is why the Mars call has not yet happened.

To make a long story short, basically some phone companies, like Cingular, Verizon and AT&T have been blocking these calls! So you can’t get through.

My solution: I will be posting the call online by this weekend, so stay tuned and you will be the first to know about it.

Again, thanks for your patience!

In the meantime, please go ahead and post any Astrology Questions you have on my blog. I will be answering them here over the next few weeks.

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Tags: Astrology, astrology question, astrology reading, learn astrology

Do you have an Astrology question that you’d like me to answer?
I’ve decided to do a Q&A Here on my site.

If you have a question about Astrology, or an aspect between two charts, or some transit that you are currently experiencing? Then please post it as a comment below this blog entry. I will answer at least one question this week, and depending on how many questions I get I will try to get to them all.

This is not an Astrology Reading, but rather a chance to get your questions about Astrology answered and hopefully clear up some misconceptions.

Why am I answering Astrology Questions? Because from my experience of what is available for people to read about Astrology it is either too oversimplified and not really useful, or FAR TOO complicated - and therfore not helpful. My goal is to share information in a way that you can actually use it.

Why Am I qualified to answer these questions? Well, I started using Astrology when I was 9, and my step-mother taught me what she know, at that time I read every book she had on the subject, and by the time I was a teenager I was *hand calculating* all the charts of everyone in my family, and all of my friends.

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Tags: Astrology, astrology question, astrology reading, learn astrology

Solar Returns are cycles in your life. You may have heard this term before and not quite know what it meant, or maybe Solar Returns are completely new to you, but either way, Solar Returns and Progressions are two of the most useful tools for taking fate into our own hands that Astrology can offer us. The Solar Return chart specifically offers the opportunity to use the energy taking place the week of our Birthday to create best possible scenario for the following 12 months of our life. I like to look at it as creating good ‘feng shui’ in your own ‘inner house’ - the house of the soul.

It’s amazing to me the time and effort that someone will put into creating great Feng Shui in a house or business without ever giving a thought to the movements of the Astrological planets - which can be far, far more powerful if harnessed correctly. Solar Return planning charts are like doing a super steriod version of Feng Shui on your life - they are that potent.

First let me explain how Solar Return Charts work. The Solar Return is that moment in the year when the Sun returns to the exact degree it was in when you were born. This happens every year, either on or near the day of your Birthday. In essence it is exactly what you are celebrating when you celebrate your Birthday. The Solar Return itself is a snapshot of the heavens for the next year of your life. All Astrology is based on cycles, and each year you live the Sun makes a new cycle - or more accurately - the Earth rotates around the Sun a full 360 degrees, and completes one cycle. The Sun itself builds a series of patterns from year to year - and these are the pictures that unfold in your life from one year to the next. The patterns that the planets make each year always describe the events of the upcoming year - but there is leeway in how YOU manage to express that energy. Simply put, each planetary aspect creates a Range of Possibilities - but it is up to you how you harness (or don’t harness) that energy. Will you use it for success? For a new relationship? A better job? A move? Pregnancy? The stars give us windows of opportunity - it is up to us what we do with that opportunity. With the Solar Return Chart I can read the trends and tendencies in anyone’s chart for the next 12 month cycle and make suggestions about how to make the best use of the gifts and opportunities that I find there.

But Solar Return Charts don’t stop at simply pointing out what’s available. For those who want to take it to the next level and take command of their destiny rather than simply walk through it - the chart can be adjusted depending on your location at the time of the Solar Return. This involves planning, and taking a trip to the location that offers the best success based on your goals and dreams for the next year of your life. Call it a Birthday vacation, but to fully take advantage of a Solar Return, a 5 day trip is recommended - 2 days before the exact Solar Return, the date of the return, and 2 days after it.

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Tags: astrologer, Astrology, astrology reading, birthday astrology, horoscope, solar return

We just experienced a complete Lunar Eclipse in (13?) Virgo on the 3rd/4th at Saros Series 123 and now we have a partial Solar Eclipse in Pisces (28?) coming on March 18 at Saros Series 149. Eclipse influences are felt for at least 4-6 months, 2-3 months before and 2-3 months after they actually happen. For this reason a persons entire year can often be influenced by direct Astrological ‘hits’ from the Eclipses. The only way to know if this applies to you (and how it effects you) is to have a professional Astrologer read your chart and focus on the Solar and Lunar Eclipse patters for the year.

This next Eclipse in Pisces is associated with eruptions of violence and explosive temper. Since this one comes with a near exact square of Sun to Pluto, we can expect this to be true of this eclipse. Previous Eclipses in this same series were associated with the Iran Contra hostage situation, the trial of Charles Manson and war criminal trials as well as race riots, revolution, and political change and unrest; particularly related to the overthrow of abuse, injustice and racism.

All of this follows closely on the heels of our hero Pluto being re-designated as a Planet after some Astronomers tried to demote him to a Planetoid. So Pluto himeself seems to be feeling the revolution. It would’t matter what they called Pluto though - he would still behave the same….A rose, is a rose, is a rose.

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Tags: astrologer, Astrology, Eclipse, horoscope, pisces, pluto, saros series, solar eclipse

Some of you may remember the debate that happened last year when Astronomers decided to declassify Pluto from Planet status and make a rule that it and other small orbiting objects in our Solar system should be classified as “Planetoids” not planets. This came on the heels of the newest discovery in our Solar System; planet Sedna (See my Article Sedna the 6th Sign? for more about Sedna).

Most Astrologers, mysef included, were horrified that Pluto might become declassified as a Planet - since we know that He is defintely a powerful force to contend with and deserves the full Planet Title. But still Astronomers are only in the business of finding and naming things, not interpreting them. But this is a good day for all of us who appreciate Pluto; he is officially a Planet again. Click here to read about Planet Pluto and his now official designation as a PLANET - not a planetoid.

There were even some snide comments on the Internet about how Astrologers would have to throw all thier work out the window if Pluto was no longer a Planet. But I would point out that the opposite is true - Astronomers, and Scientists have to rethink their ideas of how our Solar System is constructed if there are still objects out there in OUR Solar System that they are newly discovering (like Senda - and who knows how many more)!

This is one Astrologer who openly states that there is still a lot that we don’t know about the planetary influences, and I for one am eager to learn what’s missing and fill in the empty gaps in the knowledge that Astrolgers, Astronomers and Scientists all share. I believe that when we stop learning, we start dying - and who wants that! Certainly this is a sentiment that Planet Pluto would approve of.

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Tags: astrologer, Astrology, horoscope sign, planet pluto, pluto, solar system, weekly horoscope, Zodiac